We’re now moving into the second week of February and my project has been hit with yet more problems – Tom has told me that he can’t commit any time to my music either. I’m now pretty much back at the start as far as having a band is concerned. At least I know I can always rely on Chas, and drummers are without doubt the hardest musicians to get right. I have to be grateful for the things that I do have.
I won’t lie; I’m having a crisis. What do I do with my music, and myself? Do I pick myself up and renew the search for band members? Do I forget trying to have a full band and make, promote and tour a purely acoustic record? Do I forego my own songs entirely and join someone else’s project as a singer? I feel like I’m slowly suffocating under a lead blanket of stagnant mediocrity. I need to be making music; be playing gigs; be meeting and collaborating with people. I am not who I am meant to be.
I think the immediate answer to the above is this – try all of it.
Over the last fortnight I have made some posts online advertising myself as an available singer for a rock band. I got a reply from a band called They Sow The Cyclone, and I have been to a couple of practices with them after writing some lyrics to one of their songs. They are really nice, laid back guys and I really like their music; but I think they are looking for someone who roars and screams a bit more than me. I need to make sure I don’t sell myself short in the pursuit of a music career – just because I want it doesn’t mean I should jump on the first opportunity I get. I love playing acoustic guitar and singing melodic songs. Then again, as I have previously said I love metal too, so both paths are viable.
I’ve also started making a list of all the open mic nights in the South West of England. Its time I took my songs out there and played them for an audience. For all my grandstanding last year on this blog; I haven’t actually done all that much. Its time to start.
I suppose it would be good to end this rather miserable post on a positive note – the gym is slowly starting to pay off and the fat is falling away. People are starting to comment on my weight loss, and my arms have some clearly visible muscle definition for the first time in my life. I still have a huge way to go, but by the summer I’m hoping I can be physically healthy, which in turn will hopefully contribute to being mentally healthy. We shall see.